We often come across the term “strong-willed children” from the parenting experts through their articles and videos. But have we ever wondered what does it exactly mean? How to identify a strong-willed child or if your child is one of them? If no, this is the time you delve deeper.
Some of you might have an impression that strong-willed is synonymous with stubborn. They are the problem child! However, the truth is far from that. Yes, stubbornness is a part of the package, but a very small one. There is more to a strong-willed child than just being fussy and throwing temper tantrums. These kids have spunk and a very strong viewpoint about things, people, and events. They cannot be compelled very easily to sway from their thought process.
Children will have too much power over their parents and are at a risk to face host of problems. They become anxious and they can’t control, feel about themselves badly and guilty. Some of the children that exhibit a very strong temperament do have ADHD. But the rest are just as normal as any other child. With the right parenting techniques, you can certainly manage your strong-willed kids efficiently. Here are a few helpful tips for you to follow.
- Break the Cycle
Once you start nagging your child, it will only get worse. Strong-willed children don’t respond well to nagging. It would only increase your frustration, making you a pro at nagging. It will only drive your child away from you. You need to take a step back. Do not nag, beg, argue or lecture your child. None of it is going to work.
- Give Clear Instructions
The key is to use fewer words. There is no point in speaking a lot while instructing your child because they are so bouncy from all their energy that none of it falls on their ears. If you want your child to fold the laundry, you simply have to call their name and show them the basket of freshly laundered clothes. “Jackson, fold the laundry”, as you point to the basket to show it to them. This way, you can clearly convey what is expected of them.
- Spell Out the Consequences
It is important to let your child know what the consequences would be if they fail to obey you. Keep it brief so that the punishment doesn’t lose its importance. You could say something like, “Penny, clean your room or no TV for you tonight”.
- Avoid Power Struggles
If your child begins to argue, you do not need to join them. It is difficult to resist when someone pushes your buttons, but resisting arguing back with your child is the best course of action. Strong-willed kids don’t like being told what needs to be done. So you could try to explain that you understand them, if they want something, they need to earn it and that respect is a two-way thing.
- Show Tenderness & Love
One can easily become frustrated because of a strong-willed child and forget to be tender and loving. Try to avoid this and spend time with them by hugging your children and speaking to them in a tender voice. This will bring a drastic change in the kid’s character and they will start sharing everything with you.
Your kid already has the determination and awareness about the self. By using your patience and negotiation skills, you can channel their energy in a positive direction and mold them into someone who would achieve great things when they grow up.